Searching for a new therapist can often feel like searching for a mate on a dating website. You’re not sure where to look, there are thousands of options, and you’re certainly not sure if you’ll make it past a first date. However, with a little effort and an insider's perspective, it is possible to find a therapist who is a great match for you. So, here’s a guide of what to look out for.
Know What You’re Looking For
Let's start with the alphabet soup of titles. A lot of professionals use the term 'counsellor' and 'psychotherapist' interchangeably, and honestly, the lines are pretty blurry. Generally speaking, counselling tends to focus more on short-term, specific issues, while psychotherapy focuses on more in-depth, long-term exploration. The good news is that a psychotherapist can certainly do counselling, and vice versa. (For what it’s worth, I trained in both counselling and psychotherapy, which is why I use both titles!)
The key thing for you to note, though, is what they don't do. Counsellors and psychotherapists do not provide diagnoses or recommend medication for any mental health issues. If that is what you are looking for, you'll need to seek out a Psychologist or a Psychiatrist.
You might not know exactly what type of therapy you need, and that’s absolutely fine. In my experience, finding a therapist you connect and feel comfortable with can be more important that having the ‘perfect’ approach
Where Do You Even Start Looking?
Once you know the kind of professional you’re after, the next question is where to look! There are loads of ways to search for a therapist. You might just do a quick Google search for ‘Therapist near me,’ ask someone you know if they can recommend someone, or look at an online directory.
Those directories can be incredibly useful. Why? Because in order to sign up, a professional usually needs to show evidence that they are a member of a recognised professional body (like BACP or UKCP). This is an easy way to check that they are committed to working in an ethical and regulated way. Think of it as a quality-control filter!
To help you get started, here’s a non-exhaustive list of directories available in the UK:
- Counselling Directory
- BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy)
- UKCP (UK Council for Psychotherapy)
- Psychology Today UK
- BAATN (The Black, Asian & African Therapy Network)
- Pink Therapy Directory
Look Beyond Qualifications: Focus on the Fit
Of course, qualifications and professional body membership are important, but so are a whole range of other things that aren't on paper. This is where the personal search begins.
When you're searching, ask yourself about your preferences for the person across from you:
- Do you have a preference when it comes to age, race, gender or gender expression, faith, or special interests?
- What communication style do you need?
For example, my approach is quite unstructured and informal. I don’t sit in sessions with a notebook and pen (my brain stops listening when I start writing!), I often wear anime tees, and I only suggest "homework" if I feel it’s genuinely relevant to what we spoke about that day. If you’re a person who prefers a more structured therapist who takes detailed notes and gives you weekly assignments, I might not be the right fit for you—and that is completely okay.
It’s vital that you feel able to build rapport with your therapist and that you completely trust them. After all, your therapist might become the holder of your most intimate secrets. You want to feel like you’re in good hands.
Make the Most of Consultations (Your Coffee Date)
Once you have a shortlist, it's time to try out the first date. Most therapists offer an initial consultation or a short call. Some therapists offer them for free *raises hand*, while others may charge a small fee.
Think of these as a coffee date. These calls are useful to the therapist because it gives us an opportunity to find out a bit about why you’re seeking therapy and if we have the right tools to support you. But more importantly, it gives you the opportunity to find out about us, and if we feel right for you.
Don't be shy—ask questions!
- What is your approach to therapy?
- Have you worked with people who have struggled with what I’m bringing?
- Do you feel like you can work with what I’m bringing?
- What would our first therapy session typically be like?
As you talk, pay close attention to how you feel. Do you feel like you are comfortable (or could become comfortable, as consultation calls can feel nerve-wracking)? Does it feel like they are truly taking in what you’re saying? How comfortable were they answering your questions? Do you feel like you have all the information you need to make a decision? Ultimately, trust your gut.
Don’t Be Afraid to Try Again
If the first therapist you match with isn’t the right one, that is completely okay. It's not a failure, it’s just part of the screening process. We, as therapists, understand the importance of having a good fit, so please know that we won’t take it personally if you decide you want to change.
Remember, therapy isn’t something that is done to you—it’s something that you do in collaboration with your therapist. There is no rush; take your time to build that foundational relationship.
Ready to Start Your Search?
Hopefully, having read this guide, you feel much more ready to take on the task of finding a great therapist.
If you’re reading this and you’re curious to know more about me, my anime tees, and my informal approach, you’re more than welcome to explore the rest of my website or contact me to book a short consultation to see if we could be a good fit.
Happy searching.