I hear it a lot from people thinking about starting therapy, that worry that they aren't the "right" kind of client. There’s this idea that to justify a session, you need to be in the middle of a massive crisis or have your life completely falling apart. It’s like people feel they need to audition for the space, and it stops so many from getting the support they actually need.
You aren't "taking up space"
A lot of the time, this comes from a place of not wanting to be a burden. You might look at your life and think, "I’m working, my relationships are okay, my outfit was outfitting today, so I should be fine." You might feel like you're taking a spot away from someone who has it "worse" than you do.
I want to be clear about this, you aren't taking anything away from anyone. You don’t have to wait until you're at breaking point to deserve a place to talk. Whether you’re dealing with a specific shift in your life or just a heavy feeling you can’t quite shake, that is enough. You don't need to apologise for being here. This space is yours.
No "therapist-speak" required
There is also this pressure to show up and be "articulate" or have a perfect 10-point plan for the session. I think people worry they’ll sit down and have nothing to say, or that they’ll sound like a mess. You won't believe how many times I have sat across from a person who isn't sure what to say at the start of the first session, who is then surprised when they realise we are almost out of time 45 minutes later.
Forget the idea that you have to sound a certain way. In my room, we speak like real people. If we need to reference Kendrick Lamar lyrics to make a point about boundaries, or use a K-drama plot to explain how a relationship feels, then that’s what we do. You don't need to have the answers or the right vocabulary before you walk in. You just need to show up as you are, trainers, trackies, and all.
Real work happens in the mess
The "perfect" client doesn’t exist because therapy isn’t a performance. It’s a collaboration. It’s about meeting you exactly where you’re at, not where you think you "should" be.
When you stop trying to be the perfect client, you actually start being yourself. That’s when the real work happens, moving away from what everyone else expects and finding out what you actually need to feel good.
Next steps
If you’re ready to stop waiting for the "perfect" time and just want to show up with your imperfect self, I’m here for it. You don’t need a script or a crisis to get started.
If you’d like to see how we might work together, feel free to contact me to book an initial consultation.